SM: Given the global exchange rate, what is still not for sale under any circumstances?
BS: My vinyl copy of Electric Light Orchestra’s “Discovery” album. The one with “Don’t Bring Me Down” on it? “You’ve got me runnin’, goin’ out of my mind”…? “You’ve got me thinkin’ that I’m wastin’ my time”…?
SM: Please give an example of a perceived Synesthesia you’ve experienced. (Synesthesia is a crossing of senses i.e., tasting shapes, seeing smells, etc.)
BS: I can hear colors, especially in crappy pop songs. For example, the music of Bob Seger. All his music is a very dull and ugly shade of brown. Most musicians (even the crappy ones) seem to have a more diverse pallette, but Bob Seger is impressive because he uses the same flat brown in every single one of his songs. How can one guy make such consistently brown music? It’s amazing. (And by “amazing,” I don’t actually mean “amazing.” I actually mean “really boring”.)
SM: When was the last time you had to take an unexpected walk?
BS: A friend came over to watch a TV show the other night, and we decided out of the blue that we wanted some chips. So, before the show started, we walked a couple blocks down to the corner store. For some chips. I wasn’t expecting that. I was expecting to just watch the TV show without any chips, and without having to walk anywhere first.
SM: What was your last run-in with a really crazy person?
BS: It was a few months back, when I ran into an old sort-of-girlfriend. She was a bit crazy back when we were hanging out, but she was pretty, so I conveniently ignored the crazy part. But this time, there on the street, looking into her eyes…yee-ikes…
SM: What’s the first thing you do when you arrive at a party thrown by strangers?
BS: I look around for a dog or a cat to pay attention to. If there ar no pets available, then I’ll go for the food. Strangers are usually pretty boring.
SM: When was the last time you got lost?
BS: The summer before last. I got lost in a place called Secret Mountain, near Sedona, Arizona. I was on one of those hiking trails that don’t loop around; instead, the trail just peters out, and you’re supposed to turn back and retrace your steps. In this case, the problem was knowing when the trail actually petered out. There were no signs or anything. The trail just kept on getting less and less discernible. I walked through a burnt section of trees, in which I encountered the ghost of a crow (another story). And there were lizards everywhere, darting around. Finally, I turned back, but I couldn’t find what was left of the trail. I was surrounded by high weeds, and it was really hot, and I was just about out of water. And I was exhausted. I kept on telling myself not to panic.
Eventually, of course, I re-found the trail, and made my way back to the car. Later — much later — I heard that the burnt area I had walked through had supposedly been the site of a UFO crash.
SM: Please indulge us with an anecdote.
BS: The best anecdote I have — and it’s a pretty good one — is an anecdote I can never, ever tell anybody. It’s my greatest story EVER, and in a certain way it’s my life’s high point… my finest achievement. A beautiful work of art. If I told you, you’d probably either really admire me, or really hate me. But mum’s the word, sorry.
SM: Please describe a time in your life (barring politics) when you backed the wrong horse.
BS: I almost always back the wrong horse. It’s pretty much a character flaw. For example, deciding to be a professional artist is backing the wrong horse in a big, big way.
SM: Please describe an impressionable moment from your childhood.
BS: There was that time at camp. A bunch of us were playing some variation of “tag”, and this really pretty girl named Kelly was chasing me. And then she jumped and –instead of just touching me — tackled me from behind. I went down pretty good, and the whole game stopped. We had been playing on gravel, so my entire arm and part of my face were ripped up and bloody, with tiny stones stuck in the wounds. Kelly felt really bad, and kept apologizing over and over…but I was actually pretty happy about the whole thing. After that, of course, I had a HUGE crush on her. Still do, sort of.
SM: Please recommend some components we could put together to make a trap for catching ghosts.
SM: The best component for trapping ghosts is a human body. You can trap tons of ghosts with one of those. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea, though: Ghosts are pretty unpredictable, and tend to be rather pushy. You get enough of ’em in there, and they might start thinking they can run the whole show. Like prisoners taking control of the prison.
Anyway, since you asked: Before you trap a ghost, you’ve got to attract one. And to attract a ghost, you’ve got to achieve the proper vibrational level. That’s the main thing. And what I mean by “vibrational level” is how fast — or how slow — the molecules in your body are actually vibrating. This is what most ghosts are attracted to, and you can work on this in a variety of ways. When I sleep, I tend to maintain a rather ghost-friendly vibrational level, so I end up attracting a fair amount of ghosts. It’s no big deal, and I’m used to it. But, again, trapping them? Bad idea.
And anyway, aren’t we all — in a larger sense — already “trapped ghosts”?