Archive for: October, 2006

Ink Blot: Spotted Pug

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays.

ink blot

I see a spotted pug’s face emerging from the snow. The last time I saw a real pug, it was jammed in some lady’s cleavage outside of Kroger. She opened up her coat and told me it could be mine for $400. If I was trying to sell a puppy for that much money, I would hang out in an area with a higher density of rich people. Also, I would have both “dogs that have been in my boobs” and “dogs that have not been in my boobs” available for sale.
That Kroger is also know as “Hot Girl Kroger” because of its seemingly endless aisles of attractive shoppers, none of whom have ever offered me anything that was underneath their coats.

Ink Blot: Ants

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays.

ink blot

It’s an ant’s face. See his little legs on the side? Here is a haiku about ants:

ants at the picnic
checkered cloth under basket
fucking mandibles.

If you can think of a better haiku, then damn your compound eyes, king of the ants.

Ink Blot: Zombie Dream

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays.

ink blot

Every month or so I have a zombie dream. The zombies kept their memories from before. They spoke to us in imposter tongues, the same but not the same, having inherited a new hunger.
They found their way into our houses, they found their way into that football stadium we walled off, and massacred us on the field. They found their way into the valley- we built the walls high, but there were train tracks on a bridge above us, and they learned to ride the train. I owned an antiques store before they came; I fought them with old swords. I fought them with an office cabinet once when they had me cornered. But I am an old man, and I am getting tired. And they are getting persuasive.
That having been said, this week’s ink blot is a little woodland gnome putting out a campfire with his oversized fancy new boots.

Ink Blot: Stone Man

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays.

ink blot

A man made of stone performs stupendous acrobatic feats in midair, pebbles falling from his feet, his rocky hands outstretched in flight, his craggy head capsized toward the earth and his legs kicking at the sky.