December 2006

Six Things The Moon Was

December 30, 2006

1. a button tucked in my pocket. 2. the edge of an eye above. 3. making a tired old circle. 4. my friend from a long time ago. 5. not making it any less cold when I left my coat in the backseat of her car. 6. something to look at when I didn’t want [...]

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Ink Blot: Holiday List

December 27, 2006

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays. Due to the lack of lists over the holiday season, this week’s inkblot will be a list of everything I can see. 1. Two alligators at the bottom of two long tall blades of grass. 2. A couple of dragons in a [...]

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Ink Blot: Kick Ass Dragon Face

December 20, 2006

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays. This week’s inkblot is a man flexing his muscles as wings expand from his back above a dragon’s face. I knew a guy when I was growing up that easily could have had a drawing of that on his wall next to [...]

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Tornado Season: Snowman Overstays His Welcome

December 19, 2006

My roommate made a snowman out of paper mache and chicken wire, for a Christmas parade. But the snowman didn’t work out so well, so he never made it past the porch. At first he lay tilted over a table, his would be head lolling over its edge, like a French monarch moments before a [...]

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5 Things Life Is Like

December 18, 2006

1.Like I fell asleep on a boat and now I’ve run aground and hey where’s my boat? So then I get a job selling coconuts on a weird island for three years. 2. Like the movie where the guy who works in the corporation discovers that the corporation is going to profit from some illicit [...]

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Ink Blot: Two Ducks On The Case

December 14, 2006

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays. This week’s ink blot is two ducks inspecting a hole in the ground. I’m on vacation and it looks like my subconscious is, too. Sorry it’s not more exciting. Last night I took allergy medicine after drinking a lot of Pabst Blue [...]

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Tornado Season: Devil On The Beach

December 12, 2006

This is a quick little drawing of Saturday night’s dream. I was vacationing on a tropical island under a perpetual thunderstorm. The island was pretty much deserted except for one other family because of the weather, and the staff of the hotel I was staying at was acting very strange. I found out that every [...]

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11 Frequently Asked Questions About The New Book Of Photos From Scene Missing Magazine: Bulls Under Water

December 11, 2006

1. How big is it? 73 pages or so, as high as a small baby and as thick as one of those Ipods you kids are always going on about. 2. How much is it? $17 plus shipping, or about as much as you’d spend on a few liquor drinks, a hot dog and a [...]

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Places Or Circumstances In Which I Drank Beer At A Frat Party Circa.1998

December 8, 2006

1. At the bottom of a staircase through a ten-foot funnel. 2. Next to a guy in a Singled Out T-shirt. 3. In a pair of oversized baggy pants that were fashionable at the time. 4. On a roof next to a pile of dislocated shingles. 5. At the bottom of a hill from a [...]

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Ink Blot: Two Headed Snake

December 6, 2006

In which modern technology is utiilized to form Rorschach-esque ink blots. Updates Wednesdays. This week’s inkblot is a pair of hands holding a two-headed snake. The last time I saw a snake up close was in a tiny cemetery off of a dirt road behind a city park. It was hanging from the fleshy part [...]

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Tornado Season: BattleAxe

December 5, 2006

My great grandfather (my grandfather’s father on my mother’s side) was an obsessive photographer. He filled stacks of albums with snapshots. Every time I visited his house, he’d come trudging out of his bedroom with a square little camera, with the flash that looked like a stack of ice cubes. He never waited for anyone [...]

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She Wore Bones: Five Things About The Witch I Envisioned Whenever I Heard “Maneater” by Hall & Oates in My Mom’s Datsun When I Was A Kid

December 4, 2006

1. She lived in a cave with moss and vines over the entrance. 2. She wore bones, presumably from the men she had eaten. 3. Her black hair hung down to her oversized red lips. 4. She lived by the sea on which floated the sailboat I pictured whenever I heard “Sailing” by Christopher Cross. [...]

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6 Things About The Biggest Cemetery In My Hometown

December 1, 2006

1. A Russian witch who performed for kings and presidents is buried there. If your shadow falls on her grave at twilight, you will die. Sorry, but that’s how it is. 2. I promised a girl I dated we’d go to Flannery O’ Connor’s grave, but we never did. 3. The hills of the cemetery [...]

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