Archive for: January, 2013

Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3

In which Jason and Melysa Martinez review the trailer for Iron Man 3.

JASON

When I was a kid in the 80’s, all I wanted was to be half-boy, half-robot. I even asked my mom to schedule a doctor’s appointment so I could get half my body replaced with robot parts. I guess I assumed the doctor was going to be like, “Whatever you say, kid—you’re the boss!” and chop my arm off with a meat cleaver, probably with a crumpled cigarette dangling out of his mouth. “We got a whole shipment of kid-sized robot arms in the back. Want me to replace your brain with the parts from your Commodore 64 while I’m at it? 64 kilobytes of RAM! How about a floppy disk drive for a butt?”

Imperial Trouble Episode 99: I Don’t Want Cookies I Just Want To Feel Good About Myself

Imperial Trouble Episode 99: I Don’t Want Cookies I Just Want To Feel Good About Myself

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In this episode, we discuss whether it’s better to have a robot butler that gives honest feedback, or gives you compliments. Everyone envisions a world in which they didn’t have to wait for the New York Times app to open. The game “Brett Butler or Rhett Butler?” is played.

Guest hosts: Kristina Ackerman, Rich Aviles, and Tony Jenkins.

Accepting A Rude God Implicitly: How My Tiger Lost An Eye At Summer Camp

Accepting A Rude God Implicitly: How My Tiger Lost An Eye At Summer Camp

When I woke up in my sleeping bag and realized Chris’s glass eye had fallen out of its socket in the night, I began to scream. I screamed like a man awakening to find his best friend’s hollow, bloody socket staring at him across the smoldering ashes of last night’s campfire.

Chris was my stuffed tiger. I’d named him after a kid who’d convinced me to ride my Big Wheel in the street, even though riding tricycles in the street was forbidden by my mother. Like any cyclist with a “share the road” mentality, Chris (the kid, not the tiger) believed the onus was on the motorist not to crush our tiny child-sized skulls with their enormous 1980s car grills.

Imperial Trouble Episode 98: You And I Can Be A Madea

Imperial Trouble Episode 98: You And I Can Be A Madea

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In this episode, we discuss a dubious nickname we found for John the Baptist on the internet, and the director’s commentary for the Method Man/Redman movie How High. A joke about Tom Cruise falls flat.

Guest hosts: Kristina Ackerman, Rich Aviles, and Tony Jenkins.