All posts by Johnny Carroll

That’s Just My Morally-Objectionable Baby Daddy: A Review Of The Trailer For “Delivery Man”

That’s Just My Morally-Objectionable Baby Daddy: A Review Of The Trailer For “Delivery Man”

In which Johnny Carroll and Winston Blake Wheeler Ward review the trailer for the Vince Vaughn “What am I going to do about all these babies?!” movie Delivery Man.

WINSTON

So, the question Delivery Man proposes is this: How would you react if you found out that your discarded sperm had been used to impregnate hundreds of women? I’m going to direct the question at you, Johnny.

The Second Annual Vouched Birthday: Like Losing Your Hand To Your Father On Cloud City, But With Cake

The Second Annual Vouched Birthday: Like Losing Your Hand To Your Father On Cloud City, But With Cake

In which Scene Missing Contributor Johnny Carroll interviews Laura Relyea of Vouched Books about The Second Annual Vouched Birthday.

It’s pretty well known that sequels are usually worse than their original film, but there are a few exceptions to the rule. The Empire Strikes Back, Aliens and Terminator 2 top my list of films that Hollywood felt like needed a franchise, but like Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies we too like beating a dead horse with new renditions of the same idea.

Byzantium: When I Hit On Girls At The Bar, I Pretend To Be “The Lincoln Lawyer”

Byzantium: When I Hit On Girls At The Bar, I Pretend To Be “The Lincoln Lawyer”

Has the FDA approved a drug that turns the general population into “Paranormal Teen Romance” obsessed moviegoers? Honestly, I wish it was a fucking drug that caused this hysteria, because it seems like people are still obsessed with werewolves and vampires fucking without any good goddamn reason. [Ed note: What if a genie reads this and grants your wish?! Man, I hope nobody’s holding a monkey’s paw and reading your review out loud. Nobody grant Johnny’s wish, especially not in Robin Williams’ voice!]

Meeting Evil

Meeting Evil

In which Jason is joined by Johnny Carroll for a review of the trailer for Meeting Evil.

J: According to the synopsis, Meeting Evil is about when “depressed suburban family man John Fleton offers to help a stranger with his car and is sucked into a surreal, nightmarish murder spree.” That seems like quite a jump, from emergency roadside assistance to nightmarish murder spree. “Well, the spare tire was flat, so we just started killing people.” If the only thing between you and a murder spree is a can of Fix-A-Flat under the passenger seat, you just might be a murderer.  Did anybody else read that in Jeff Foxworthy’s voice? Jeff Foxworthy being one Blue Collar Comedy Tour with Larry the Cable Guy away from a murder spree of his own.