All posts by Kate Sweeney

El Maestro Becomes El Estudiante, Indeed: A Review Of The Trailer For “Ender’s Game”

El Maestro Becomes El Estudiante, Indeed: A Review Of The Trailer For “Ender’s Game”

In which Kate Sweeney and Hilary Kelley discuss the trailer for Ender’s Game.

HILARY

Kate, I know we’ve been dancing around it for a while, now, but it’s time we did something about this trailer. In fact, I think this movie came out in the theaters, went to DVD, and was even put out on VHS for a limited run. And still we sat here, and still we said nothing.

Vice Versa

Vice Versa

In which Jason and Kate Sweeney review the trailer for Vice Versa. Part of a series of trailer reviews for body-switching comedies of the 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s. 

JASON

You know how I can tell this is going to be a good movie? The trailer starts off with a young Fred Savage holding a skull and sassing his dad. It really adds emphasis to your sass when you’re holding a skull. A lot of people don’t know this, but Hamlet’s famous soliloquy in which he’s holding a skull is supposed to be performed in a sassy voice. Hamlet was the Jackée of his time. And Macbeth was the Marla Gibbs. In fact, Shakespeare’s entire body of work was essentially the 227 of the 1600’s.

Even the skull has a sassy expression on its face as it vomits body-swapping magic all over Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage. It’s all like, “Gotcha’, bitches!” Much like Jackée, it has a complete inability to understand context when you’re holding it and making wishes. “Figure of speech? Figure this speech—you need to go out and get new shoes! I can see your rapidly aging toes, you body-switching dummies.”

Another way I know this is going to be a good movie? The trailer describes Judge Reinhold as a “successful businessman and self-professed workaholic” inside of whom “beats the heart of a little boy.” Yikes!

KATE

So, they swapped hearts? That’s what’s going on? Because I’m no medical expert here, but I’m unconvinced that the heart of a little boy could adequately power the body of a 36-year old man. Their souls switching: Sure. But if it’s literal heart-swapping hijinks, then I’m not prepared to believe this. Because, look at this: We’re led to believe that Fred-as-Judge’s first move in his father’s grown body is to go all wild on a skateboard—as it must be, because this is an ’80s movie, in which skateboarding must necessarily be the ultimate shorthand for rascally joie de vivre (See also, most notably: Marty McFly.) In this case, though, he’d better watch it, because the heart of a little boy shall not beat inside him for long if he doesn’t take a breather.

Skyfall

Skyfall

In which Laura Straub of Vouched Books and Kate Sweeney of the True Story Reading Series discuss the trailer for twenty-third James Bond film, Skyfall.

KATE

Hi, Laura.

This preview leaves you with absolutely no idea what the plot points to expect in the associated movie. My pet peeve lies in those trailers that detail the entire movie for you, but this one goes the simpler route. Much simpler. “I am an action-adventure movie starring a handsome man!” it declares, and leaves it at that.

The Magic of Belle Isle

The Magic of Belle Isle

In which Atlanta writer and performer Johnny Drago and Kate Sweeney of the True Story Reading Series discuss the trailer for The Magic of Belle Isle.

K: Hi there, Johnny.

On this preview’s splash page, Morgan Freeman is just the picture of enlightenment. Did you notice that? It’s how he looks in every movie lately, and, frankly, that’s fine with me. I really think that’s how we long to see him: messiah-like and full of joy. Oh yes, he was wronged; he went through hardship in his formative years (see also AtticaStreet Smart,) but those experiences burned him clean and touched him with some holy light. He is smiling; we don’t know why. We can’t know why. And of course, to complete this cliché, because a beautiful, clean cliché is what we so desire: We don’t want to. What Morgan Freeman knows is for Morgan Freeman to know. We can only hope he speaks. Prithee, say something, Mr. Freeman. Recite the phonebook, and arrive at my name. Speak to us.

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games

In which Jason and Kate Sweeney of the True Story Reading Series discuss the trailer for The Hunger Games.

J: Can I just say that the police officers in The Hunger Games trailer look like Woody Allen’s sperm costume from Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)? I guess if you’re already crazy enough to make teenagers fight each other in a nationally televised deathmatch, it’s not that much crazier to have your cops dress like visual gags from 40 year old sex comedies.