All posts by Nick Tecosky

Nick & Myke’s #2 – Stuck To Our Guns, Shooting The Moon

Nick & Myke’s #2 – Stuck To Our Guns, Shooting The Moon

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing #2 hits on the Billboard charts.

For the week of March 17th, the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot Country chart is:

Florida-Georgia-Line-Heres-To-The-Good-Times-This-Is-How-We-Roll

NICK
It was nighttime, in the Summer, and I found myself on the outskirts of Valdosta, Georgia. The air was thick with the oppressive humidity of early August and I was dizzy on the symphony of crickets and bullfrogs and the sickly-sweet taste of my first sip of Southern Comfort.

Nick & Myke’s #2 – A Perfect Storm Of Hot Pink Dust

Nick & Myke’s #2 – A Perfect Storm Of Hot Pink Dust

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of March 10th, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

katy_art

NICK
So, a crazy long time ago, Cleopatra committed suicide. Maybe. Maybe she was murdered by Caesar Augustus. If she did in fact commit suicide, it was by asp, which is a kind of snake. Maybe. I mean, yes, an asp is a kind of snake, but maybe she didn’t use one to commit suicide, which she almost certainly possibly did (unless of course she was murdered) according to the people who would know that kind of thing.

Nick & Myke’s #2: Happiness Is The Truth And The Truth Is Happiness

Nick & Myke’s #2: Happiness Is The Truth And The Truth Is Happiness

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of February 17th, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

Pharrell_Happy

MYKE
Comrades, I salute you. Our journey has been long and you have each shown the courage and strength of character which befits your title. God and His divine provenance have brought us together on this day and in this place and as I stand before you, sun on my shoulders, I might even betray that I love you–each of you–like sons and daughters.

Nick & Myke’s #2: I Will Absolutely Stick My Hand Down The Front Of My Pants

Nick & Myke’s #2: I Will Absolutely Stick My Hand Down The Front Of My Pants

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of February 10th, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

beyonce

NICK
When I was 14 years old, I had a small black and white television in my bedroom. Most of the time, I used it to watch reruns of M*A*S*H from midnight to 2am, but for a glorious half-hour every weekday afternoon, I locked my door and quietly watched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I was too old for the show, and usually turned it off by the time they were fighting men in rubber suits, but there was a magnificent window of ten or so minutes wherein I could gaze upon the majesty of Amy Jo Johnson before she put on her Power Ranger costume and mask and became a faceless, sexless action figure. But for those few precious moments beforehand, I’d “express” my teenage fantasies. Ten minutes was more than enough time to “express myself” at least twice. I miss those Days of Potency. I really do.

Nick & Myke’s #2: The Apocalypse Will Be Sponsored

Nick & Myke’s #2: The Apocalypse Will Be Sponsored

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of February 3rd, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

pitbull

MYKE

I’m sure there are a lot of pop songs about things falling down, but for some reason the first one that comes to mind is Fergie’s “London Bridge.” The only thing I remember from that song is a really loud drum beat and a million autotuned Fergies shouting about their London Bridges going down whenever I come around, wondering why that was, and suggesting through context that she rather liked it. That’s all I remember: drums, voice and that stupid chorus forever seared into my memory, probably in place of some cherished childhood memory.

The Real Witchcraft Was Making A Pot-Bellied Jack Nicholson Seem Like A Viable Candidate For A Foursome: A Review Of The Trailer For “The Witches Of Eastwick”

The Real Witchcraft Was Making A Pot-Bellied Jack Nicholson Seem Like A Viable Candidate For A Foursome: A Review Of The Trailer For “The Witches Of Eastwick”

In which Jason and Nick Tecosky of WRITE CLUB Atlanta review the trailer for The Witches Of Eastwick.

JASON

Hi, Nick.

Was dating in the 80’s so difficult that women had to resort to witchcraft? I guess being a modern single lady isn’t so bad after all!

18 Again!: If George Burns Had Switched Bodies With A California Raisin In 1988, Nobody Would Have Been Able To Tell The Difference

18 Again!: If George Burns Had Switched Bodies With A California Raisin In 1988, Nobody Would Have Been Able To Tell The Difference

In which Jason and Nick Tecosky review the 1976 trailer for 18 Again!. Part of a series of trailer reviews for body-switching comedies of the 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s.

JASON

Let’s go ahead and get one thing out the way. Saying that George Burns is celebrating his birthday “in his grandson David’s body” is an odd way to phrase things, right? For example, if I were to say to you, “Nick Tecosky, tonight I’m celebrating my birthday…in your body,” there’d be no other way to interpret that, right? Would you assume that a birthday wish is going to swap our bodies, or would you assume that I plan to just go to town on you while Jeremih’s “Birthday Sex” plays in the background?

Now, at the time 18 Again! was in theaters, George Burns was 81. It was totally legal to fuck him. I would say that it was the most legal it’s ever been to fuck George Burns. It was so legal to fuck George Burns that you could get a law degree just by giving him a hand job.

But you might want to brush up on your George Burns age-of-consent laws, because thanks to some birthday-wish-related magic, he’s about to swap bodies with his 18 year old grandson David, inside of whom he’s apparently going to be “celebrating.” George Burns’ decrepit-turned-nubile body is now skirting the boundaries of legality, is what I mean to say.

Nick. NICK. Celebrated octogenarian George Burns is now officially barely legal.

NICK

First off: When you worry about semantics, you undercut the true horror of this film.

Which is, of course, the strange attitude that our sexy-barely-legal-81-year-old clearly has about his new body: Oh, shit, I can drink heavily and chain smoke again! This is an excuse to be totally reckless USING SOMEONE ELSE’S BODY. I can have sex again! USING MY GRANDSON’S PENIS. I AM USING MY GRANDSON’S BODY TO LIVE OUT FANTASIES. I can be best friends with Paulie Shore all day long BECAUSE THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS. I mean, if it were a stranger’s body, fuck it. I don’t owe this kid anything. Besides, every youngster should experience crabs at least once, right, Gracie?

The scene that they never show in these body-switch movies is the scene wherein the protagonist has to take a crap and all at once he realizes that he is going to have to take that crap USING HIS GRANDFATHER’S GRAYING ASSHOLE.

He is going to have to pull down his pants and sit on that padded toilet seat, and he is going to have to experience that, and even if he gets back to his own body in the end, he is going to have to live with that experience for the rest of his days. Oh, not such a crazy thrill-ride now, is it? Whose idea was this anyway? Is this a nightmare? Am I being taught a lesson? Why doesn’t the universe just kill me? Why is this apple buried in my thorax?

Looper

Looper

In which Jason, Nick Tecosky of Write Club Atlanta, and Bunny McIntosh of Melting Dolls review the trailer for the movie Looper.

NICK

It’s funny. I had something akin to this experience in college, except that there was no shooting or running around, or anything of the sort.

I worked at the Subway on Prince in Athens, Georgia, when my future self appeared in the shop and ordered a Cold Cut Trio (TM). He looked bored. It inspired no emotion in him when he looked me in the eye and asked for extra mayonnaise. I was all “Hey, future self, what the fuck, man?” And he was all “Hold the lettuce.” I tried to ask him about the next few years, but he waved me off. He looked tired.

The Avengers

The Avengers

In which Jason and Nick Tecosky of Write Club Atlanta discuss the trailer for The Avengers.

J: Is Robert Downey Jr. going to wear that Black Sabbath shirt through the whole movie? Because if having a heart problem and wearing T-shirts with metal bands from the 70’s on them is all it takes, the Avengers might want to recruit my stepdad. I noticed that Iron Man seems really pleased to have The Hulk on the Avengers team. I don’t think anybody has been this proud to have a guy in jean shorts by his side since George Michael started Wham!.