Category Archives: Music Video Reviews

I Hope Yuh Comprehend—A Review of Simply Red’s “Stars”

I Hope Yuh Comprehend—A Review of Simply Red’s “Stars”

In which Jason and The Tusk’s Nate Waggoner send their future into clearer dimensions by reviewing the video for Simply Red’s Stars.

JASON

Hey Nate! I wanna fall from the stars straight into YOUR arms! Just like that Red Bull astronaut. Remember him? Felix Baumgartner literally fell 128,000 feet from the stars and he didn’t have the common courtesy to aim for the lead singer of Simply Red!

Nick & Myke’s #2 – Stuck To Our Guns, Shooting The Moon

Nick & Myke’s #2 – Stuck To Our Guns, Shooting The Moon

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing #2 hits on the Billboard charts.

For the week of March 17th, the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot Country chart is:

Florida-Georgia-Line-Heres-To-The-Good-Times-This-Is-How-We-Roll

NICK
It was nighttime, in the Summer, and I found myself on the outskirts of Valdosta, Georgia. The air was thick with the oppressive humidity of early August and I was dizzy on the symphony of crickets and bullfrogs and the sickly-sweet taste of my first sip of Southern Comfort.

Nick & Myke’s #2 – A Perfect Storm Of Hot Pink Dust

Nick & Myke’s #2 – A Perfect Storm Of Hot Pink Dust

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of March 10th, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

katy_art

NICK
So, a crazy long time ago, Cleopatra committed suicide. Maybe. Maybe she was murdered by Caesar Augustus. If she did in fact commit suicide, it was by asp, which is a kind of snake. Maybe. I mean, yes, an asp is a kind of snake, but maybe she didn’t use one to commit suicide, which she almost certainly possibly did (unless of course she was murdered) according to the people who would know that kind of thing.

Nick & Myke’s #2: Happiness Is The Truth And The Truth Is Happiness

Nick & Myke’s #2: Happiness Is The Truth And The Truth Is Happiness

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of February 17th, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

Pharrell_Happy

MYKE
Comrades, I salute you. Our journey has been long and you have each shown the courage and strength of character which befits your title. God and His divine provenance have brought us together on this day and in this place and as I stand before you, sun on my shoulders, I might even betray that I love you–each of you–like sons and daughters.

Nick & Myke’s #2: I Will Absolutely Stick My Hand Down The Front Of My Pants

Nick & Myke’s #2: I Will Absolutely Stick My Hand Down The Front Of My Pants

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of February 10th, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

beyonce

NICK
When I was 14 years old, I had a small black and white television in my bedroom. Most of the time, I used it to watch reruns of M*A*S*H from midnight to 2am, but for a glorious half-hour every weekday afternoon, I locked my door and quietly watched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I was too old for the show, and usually turned it off by the time they were fighting men in rubber suits, but there was a magnificent window of ten or so minutes wherein I could gaze upon the majesty of Amy Jo Johnson before she put on her Power Ranger costume and mask and became a faceless, sexless action figure. But for those few precious moments beforehand, I’d “express” my teenage fantasies. Ten minutes was more than enough time to “express myself” at least twice. I miss those Days of Potency. I really do.

Nick & Myke’s #2: The Apocalypse Will Be Sponsored

Nick & Myke’s #2: The Apocalypse Will Be Sponsored

Myke Johns and Nick Tecosky are the producers of WRITE CLUB Atlanta. In an ill-conceived bid to remain hip and relevant and also to vent their anger and bile at people who actually are hip and relevant, they have devoted themselves to reviewing the #2 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

For the week of February 3rd, the #2 hit on the Billboard charts is:

pitbull

MYKE

I’m sure there are a lot of pop songs about things falling down, but for some reason the first one that comes to mind is Fergie’s “London Bridge.” The only thing I remember from that song is a really loud drum beat and a million autotuned Fergies shouting about their London Bridges going down whenever I come around, wondering why that was, and suggesting through context that she rather liked it. That’s all I remember: drums, voice and that stupid chorus forever seared into my memory, probably in place of some cherished childhood memory.

Holding A Butt With A Dead Man’s Hand: Waiting For The Light To Turn With Big Sean’s “Dance (A$$) Remix Ft. Nicki Minaj”

Holding A Butt With A Dead Man’s Hand: Waiting For The Light To Turn With Big Sean’s “Dance (A$$) Remix Ft. Nicki Minaj”

I’m waiting to turn left on the corner of Freedom Parkway and Ponce de Leon Avenue, when a man approaches my car and taps on my window. He motions for me to roll my window down. I just look at him. I don’t even turn down the radio, so he scowls and continues to move his lips soundlessly on the other side of the glass, as I continue to say, “What? What?!”

Toxic: When An Episode Of South Park Made Me Abandon What I Loved

Toxic: When An Episode Of South Park Made Me Abandon What I Loved

I remember the first time I saw Britney Spears. She was featured in a special section of the Delia’s catalogue I always looked through and never ordered from when I was in seventh grade.

In the following years, I would grow up, so would she, and I would follow her every step. She was mine, my star, and everything about her was mine to know. I once bought two copies of the “Oops!…I Did It Again” album just to make sure I was doing my part to boost her sales in the first week the album was released. I own a copy of Crossroads on DVD, y’all.