An official Indiana Jones Prequel Facebook game was announced by Zynga, creators of FarmVille. Players will use machetes and whips to explore jungles and search for treasure in the free-to-play Indiana Jones Adventure World. The game is also programmed to steal your personal data and replace it with a bag of sand.
PICTURED: Indiana Jones. Accompanied by the lead singer of Simply Red, apparently.
A trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman was recently released. In the film, a mirror urges an evil queen to kill Snow White and eat her heart to become more beautiful. In a related story, an informal survey of men everywhere revealed the quality they find most attractive in women is a willingness to eat human hearts.
A patch for the game The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is said to have “fixed an occasional issue where a guest would arrive to the player’s wedding dead”. A similar glitch in most American states in which gay players arrive to their own wedding but are unable to get married has yet to be patched.
An antique Stradivarius was recreated from a CAT scan. A copy produced from the 307-year-old violin is said to sound ”amazingly similar” to the original. Researchers were also able to duplicate the world’s smallest violin by pinching their thumb and forefinger together and sarcastically playing the world’s saddest song on it for you.
Finally, a deformed pig has learned to walk on his front legs:
The pig announced plans to see an R-rated movie as soon as it finds a second pig to fill out a trenchcoat and fedora.