SM: Where are you at in your work right now?
HS: The usual place, equidistant between hope and despair.
SM: What color would you recommend we use to banish ghosts, and why?
HS: Any color will do, since they don’t exist. So try ’em all.
SM: What physical objects would you like to be buried with, King Tutankhamun style?
HS: My trusty portable shortwave radio. Just in case shortwaves reach farther than we think.
SM: If you had to play a song to get into your house, what song would open your front door?
HS: “Hello, It’s Me”, by Todd Rundgren.
SM: In the middle of the interview, an anecdote is requested.
HS: Try pulling the stinger out with tweezers, then rub lemon juice on the affected area.
SM: The last time you dressed up for Halloween, what costume did you wear?
HS: I don’t remember the last time I dressed up for Halloween, it was so long ago. I do costume and mask for Mardi Gras, and most recently, I was a sacred cow and my wife a Hindu goddess.
SM: What do most people want from you, and what would you rather them have?
HS: Right now, during the elction year, most people want me to play their anti-Bush parody songs on my radio show. I would rather they have enough talent to write original songs.
SM: What is your first reaction to a sky full of approaching rain clouds?
HS: Oh, shit. But that’s because I’m a native Southern Californian, heliotropic to the bone. I’m sitting looking at rain right now, and it makes me want to crawl into bed. Plus our house still leaks after ten years of leak-hunting.
SM: Given that human beings are amnesiacs, in that we have no memory of time before we were born, or any certainty of where we go after we die, what’s your best guess as to what happens before and after living?
HS: Pretty much the same as what happens between acts of a sitcom if they don’t show the commercials–two minutes of black.
SM: Please compose a brief haiku or poem on a subject of your choosing.
HS: Life is short, then you die.