Interview w/ John Aboud • Co-Creator of the “Modern Humorist” website

SM: Please design a proper flag to sail over a captured fort, be it made of stone or couch cushions.

John’s Flag.

SM: When was the last time you consumed something to excess?

JA: Yesterday, I listened to “Smile,” and I fucking gorged myself like a pig on Brian Wilson’s genius.

SM: Please recommend a good opening line for a book short stories regarding depression era Georgia.

JA: “I am born, y’all.”

SM: What was the last big misunderstanding for which you were responsible?

JA: The confusion of obscurity with artistic merit at this year’s National Book Awards. My bad.

SM: Please enliven our afternoon/morning/evening with an anecdote.

JA: Afternoon to morning to evening? That would have to be a pretty epic anecdote to last so long. Oh, well, here goes.
So Eris, the goddess of discord, has this golden apple, and Juno, Aphrodite and Athena all want it…

SM: What do you turn to to remedy insomnia?

JA: George Eliot’s “Silas Marner.” And melatonin.

SM: If it was really true that photographs steal a part of your soul, and in order to enter the afterlife properly, you had to get back all the photographs ever taken of you, what would you do to remedy the situation?

JA: Lower my expectations of proper afterlife entry. I could never get all the pictures back, as I am one of the most beautiful and photographed men in the whole house.

SM: If you woke up one morning to find the citizens in the city where you live had vanished, what album would you like to hear that day?

JA: Rush’s “2112.” Finally, I could focus on the musicianship and not the Ayn Rand-influenced themes of self-reliance and anti-conformity as those topics would be moot.

SM: If you were heard to exclaim, “There it is!”, what would you most likely be pointing at?

JA: “information technology,” but I’d be exclaiming in all caps.

SM: Please compose a brief poem or haiku on the subject of your choosing.

JA:
Scene Missing Dot Com,
What a fine web site you are.
Sucking up is in.

www.modernhumorist.com

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Interview w/ Greg Clarke • Artist