SM: If you were heard to exclaim, “There it is!”, what would you most likely be pointing at?
JR: My heterosexuality.
SM: What is your first reaction to a spilled glass of liquid?
JR: You go, liquid!!
SM: What is something you’d like people to know about you?
JR: I’ll answer any question, no matter how inane, pointless or ridiculous.
SM: What’s the first thing you want to know about a stranger?
JR: Where are your vaginas?
SM: In the middle of the interview, an anecdote is requested.
JR: When I was in 8th grade I went on a school trip to Mexico. We were at some place with lots of pyramids, Uxmal I believe it was called. I had really bad diarrhea so I went to the public restroom. Only after evacuating did I realize that there was no toilet paper, or any kind of paper in the entire bathroom. So, I ended up wiping my ass with a Coke can that I fished out of the garbage.
SM: C.S. Lewis, William Blake and T.S. Eliot have all gone back in time to stop….. (please insert a who, what and why)
JR: …the insanity. Because insanity needs to be stopped because if we don’t stop it then everyone will be like all “What the fuck is all this insanity doing all over the place!? Can’t I just sit down and have a nice
chicken taco and not be surrounded by insanity?! I wish some poetry assholes would travel through time
and stop all this insanity!”
SM: When was the last time you saw someone yelling really loud in public?
JR: 8 days, 4 hours, 22 minutes and 6 seconds ago.
SM: If societal norms allowed men to cry like babies, what would you cry about?
JR: I would cry about this new man-crying utopia you just created.
SM: What is one thing you are never certain of?
JR: The quality of this week’s episode of “Judging Amy”.
SM: What is an aspect of our culture you are willing to pretend to know something about to strangers?