Interview w/ Missy • Founder, “Suicide Girls”

SM: Do you have anything you carry around for good luck?

M:I have carried items through out my life but I lack the follow through to actually keep them with me forever. Maybe it is an inherent lack of faith, growing up without religion, or maybe I just don’t fear living life with out a talisman. I do like the concept though and do carry sentimental items with me from time to time. I am not sure that it is for luck or if it is just to remind me of a happy time or of a person I love. I am between items right now. Someday, I am sure that I will find something that I will carry with me for awhile, until I forget again. Does that make me fickle? or just destined to have bad luck?

SM: When was the last time you had something unfortunate happen to you in a strange city?

M: I was on a boat from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap in Cambodia. I am ordinarily not a fan of boats but this was the most desirable option to get to Angkor Wat and I figured I could handle it. I was traveling by myself and was content reading on the deck and pretending that I was not on a boat for most of the three hour journey. As we approached the harbor all of the passengers, mostly tourists, started queueing on one side of the boat to wait for their luggage. We were still a ways out from the dock and the people who lived in the make shift shelters along the banks of the river were wading in the shallows and the air was ripe with the smell of a sewer. As the line increased people became more hurried to get to the right side of the boat to be first in line to get their packs. All of a sudden the boat started to capsize and people began spilling off the edge of the boat and into the rotting water below. I grabbed what I could so that I wouldn’t fall in and held on for dear life. Unfortunately it happened to be the exhaust pipe of the boat. My fear of the water was greater than the searing pain in my left hand and I held on until a portly German couple were able to scramble their way to the opposite side of the boat and ballast was restored. I made my way down the two by four plank that was the dock and onto the mud I was surrounded by hundreds of touts. Hands grabbing, touching, screaming to “Pick me Madame, Come with me!” I couldn’t see the ground below me or the sky above only hands, wanting. I felt short of breath and the pain in my hand was starting to take hold, as my vision began to go black, I just screamed. I managed to push people out of my way, barely able to reach the railing by the boat to steady myself and hung my head, just breathing. Not my finest moment, but on top of all of the other misfortunes I had endured in the last twenty minutes, I thought better of passing out. I was a woman traveling alone in a third world country and didn’t want to test my luck seeing as I didn’t have a good luck charm with me then either. As I was leaning over the railing breathing heavily, an elderly Cambodian man next to me touches me on the shoulder, smiles and says “Freaking out” in his broken English.
His name was Chunn and in that instant I immediately calmed down. He took me to a hotel, got my hand bandaged up and was my tour guide for the rest of the trip. I ended up having an amazing time and making a new friend, but it did start out rather bumpy.

SM: If you were to illustrate a field full of crows, what would you make sure to include?

M: Wheat and the infinite horizon. The nearly colorless sky that happens in the moment between daylight and darkness. I would make one of the crows staring directly at the viewer while picking over something in it’s mouth. Crows are scary.

SM: What is your first reaction to the sight of an airplane in the sky?

M: Joy. An airplane means a new adventure and I can not get enough of those. I want to see the whole world one day.

SM: Please describe an especially memorable time at the ocean you’ve had.

M: The ocean is a tempestuous mistress. When I was four years old my Dad was sea kayaking and I was playing in the sea foam on the shore. His boat tipped in the wake of an enormous wave and he was jostled out of the boat. I ran into the water to grab a float that had fallen out of the boat and was washing up on the shore. The ocean was getting rough and the waves were getting more violent. A wave came up behind me and dropped the boat full of water on top of me, pinning me to the sand and trapping me underwater. It was only a moment that I was trapped but I was terrified and remember the salt water stinging my eyes and filling my lungs as I cried out for help. The water receded and my Dad got the boat off of me but since then I have tried to give the ocean some space. It doesn’t like me and I am not so fond of it either.

SM: If you were to illustrate the most recent dream you had with only two colors, which colors would you use, and why?

M: Sky blue and red. I dreamt about a friend and everything was very nice and lovely and then we became very angry with one another. It was very odd. It ended in her leaving me a voice mail. I woke up wondering “Why am I dreaming about voice mail?” I think the message was that I need to unplug.

SM: When was the last time you lost something important and then had it find it’s way back to you?

M: I tend to be pretty obsessive compulsive when it comes to important things like keys, wallet, phone, ect. I check three or four times before I leave and I will have little freak out moments through out the day and take inventory. I don’t really lose things very often, I think it is a control thing.

SM: What is your first reaction to the sight of a staircase in a strange house?

M: I want to climb it and find out what is above me. Slightly afraid of the unknown but more intrigued to find out what people keep in their private living space, the space not seen by casual visitors.

SM: When was the last time you had any fun in the snow?

M: Probably three years ago, it snowed in Portland and it was the beautiful big soft flakes that take hours to float to the ground and I sat on my balcony and watched the snow fall for hours with a cup of hot cocoa all bundled up in a sweater and long johns. Then the next day I went to a friends house and helped her two year old daughter make her first snow man.

SM: Please compose a brief poem or haiku on the subject of your choosing.

M:
The short girl wonders
What happened to all the light
Darkness fought with the right

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