SM: When was the last time you had on a set of headphones?
SM: Barring yourself, what’s the best thing to come out of your hometown?
NG: Trains. Though I have yet to come out of my hometown.
SM: What was your last good deed?
NG: Babysitting for free.
SM: What was your last encounter with a lunatic?
NG: Ex-girlfriend / current-friend / loving hate-buddy Sarah. Over the phone. I’m sure she’d say the same for me.
SM: Regale us, please, with an anecdote.
NG: One time I hit a deer while riding a bicycle.
SM: Please describe an activity at which you are not very good, but that you hope to eventually be good at.
NG: Expressing my feelings to someone I don’t want to talk to. Archery. Walking confidently in the dark. These are all the same thing.
SM: What is your first reaction to a roomful of strangers?
NG: Excitement usually. Though sometimes I additionally feel regret and shame if they’re in a room I’ve accidentally walked in on.
SM; What was the last circumstance in which you found yourself that you could not comprehend entirely?
NG: Perhaps this morning. On the verge of being awake, I got that scary feeling that all the dreams I had been having might in fact be real.
SM; Please tell us a story about a low paying job you’ve held, and if you’ve never held a low paying job, please tell us a story about any job you’ve held.
NG: I worked on a farm 7 days a week many summers ago. I worked every day from 6 AM to late afternoon. Corn. Tomatoes. I picked these two things. Tomatoes were my specialty. One of the overseers was very fond of my work ethic, and I was happy to please him. One day however, I asked him if I could leave work early to tend to something I felt was more important (a movie perhaps). He said: “Nick…we need you. Don’t leave.” This troubled me, as I had already arranged to leave early this day. With my friend as a reluctant advisor, I weighed the pros and cons of defying such a strong-willed, powerful man. With a heavy heart, I used my converse shoes to sneak off the farm with great stealth, and met my ride at the entrance of the farm. Before work the next morning, I was dreading having to face him. I had heard reports that he muttered the word “sonovaBITCH” upon hearing about my AWOL status. After a while, on this very rainy morning, it had been announced that he was arrested the night prior for some deed pertaining to a shotgun and his wife. I never saw him again.
SM: Please describe an area of expertise you are willing to feign knowing something about to strangers.
NG: Picking tomatoes (You’ve got to grab them near the stem. And don’t yank softly. Snap hard. Wear gloves if you got em).