The Second Annual Vouched Birthday: Like Losing Your Hand To Your Father On Cloud City, But With Cake

The Second Annual Vouched Birthday: Like Losing Your Hand To Your Father On Cloud City, But With Cake

In which Scene Missing Contributor Johnny Carroll interviews Laura Relyea of Vouched Books about The Second Annual Vouched Birthday.

It’s pretty well known that sequels are usually worse than their original film, but there are a few exceptions to the rule. The Empire Strikes Back, Aliens and Terminator 2 top my list of films that Hollywood felt like needed a franchise, but like Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies we too like beating a dead horse with new renditions of the same idea.

As Vouched Books (Atlanta) is preparing for their second birthday party  at the Goat Farm on July 18th, we decided to create our own trilogy with a third installment of putting Laura Relyea through the ringer regarding just about everything, except Vouched Books.

I promise that it’s more entertaining than Spider-Man 3.

JOHNNY

Do you honestly believe that we landed on the moon?

LAURA

We as in you and I? Certainly. Us as in the U.S. of A? I’m skeptical.

JOHNNY

Kid President asks the question, “What will be your Space Jam?” in his motivational YouTube video A Pep Talk From Kid President To You.

Would you say that Vouched Books is your Space Jam or would you consider being in Space Jam 2 if they decided to film it so then your Space Jam would actually just be Space Jam 2?

LAURA

Before I can answer this fully I need to know if Muggsy Bogues would still be involved in Space Jam 2.

JOHNNY

I’m sure he’s not busy.

LAURA

Also Bill Murray?

JOHNNY

He’s probably busy.

LAURA

Hmm. Well, if I were approached to be in Space Jam 2 that would probably be my Space Jam. If that dream never comes to fruition then Vouched Books would probably be my Space Jam

That is unless Inman Park Squirrel Census: The Movie actually ever gets made. That would be a contender for my Space Jam. Can I have two Space Jams even though they haven’t made a Space Jam 2 (yet)?

JOHNNY

As long as LeBron James isn’t in either of them. Anyway, I’m getting off topic. You recently had a birthday. Do you believe in astrology?

LAURA

Yes.

JOHNNY

Speaking of birthdays, the celebration of Vouched Books’ second birthday is on July 18th at The Goat Farm. Would you say that the next year for Vouched will be symbolic of the temperament of a two year old child, also known as the “terrible twos”?

LAURA

Oh, definitely. They say the “terrible twos” are all about children testing limits. I intend to test a lot of limits — there will be temper tantrums, crayons on walls, climbing bookshelves, and sneaking junk food into the grocery cart. How this will help me promote small press literature is unclear. What is certain? It will be prolific.

JOHNNY

Do you think that there would be a type of political incorrectness backlash if Hollywood released another Looking Who’s Talking sequel in 2013?

LAURA

I have a feeling the people would be too distracted by John Travolta to be moved into action. Don’t you think?

JOHNNY

I wish he would be distracting enough to make me think that he’s a good actor. He should just be Vincent Vega for the rest of his life.

I know that babies learn a lot between the ages of one and two– selfies, sexting and overall self-centeredness. What’s the biggest accomplishment that Vouched Books has made since it’s last birthday?

LAURA

Vouched Books Atlanta? We’ve come a long way. I’ve taken a good amount of time to reflect on what has been accomplished so far. As you may know, I’m a big fan of lists and statistics, and like to be able to measure success. Here are some statistics I’ve gathered that show progress has been made by Vouched Books Atlanta:

  • Vouched Presents, our reading series, has hosted 39 authors in Atlanta since its launch in July 2011.
  • Vouched Atlanta now has a regular presence at four different reading series (Solar Anus, Write Club Atlanta, True Story, and Lost in the Letters) and we have plans to expand to a couple more in the upcoming months.
  • In September we will celebrate returning to the Decatur Book Festival, the largest independent book festival in the United States, for the third time.
  • In June 2011 at the Artlantis festival there were 7 titles to the Vouched ATL name. There are currently 44 titles in regular rotation in my inventory. That’s over six times as many books in two years! (Which is crazy to me! I read too much!)

Sorry I don’t have any pie charts.

Along with that — there are new Vouched franchises popping up across this nation of ours. Vouched San Francisco launched on July 5th. We have plans for a table to launch in Austin sometime this fall, and there’s talk of a relaunch of the Vouched Indianapolis table in the forthcoming months. It’s a really exciting time for us. We’re in a growth spurt!

JOHNNY

Will there be cake at the party?

LAURA

Marmalade Bakeshop will be donating baked goods for the evening, so yeah, kind of!

JOHNNY

Would you mind settling an international debate that has been plaguing everyone’s minds and ruining relationships for years?

LAURA

Oh, I would be honored, if you really think I’m up to the challenge.

JOHNNY

Mötley Crüe or Poison?

LAURA

Wait — they’re not even in the same league. Is this really a debate? Mötley Crüe all. The Way. No contest! The Crüe is superior in every realm:

  1. Flashy guitarists (with a sex tape!)
  2. Hairspray
  3. Leather pants that (although limiting mobility) only aim to please
  4. The erroneous use of the Germanic umlaut.

JOHNNY

Now I have to act like that was a trick question. I mean, I’ve never cried myself to sleep while listening to “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” or anything.

LAURA

…It’s okay Johnny. We’ve all been there. Just don’t cry at the birthday party…

again.

Vouched Books is celebrating two years of promoting small press literature in Atlanta on Thursday, July 18th at 8pm at The Goat Farm. You can check out our first two awful interviews here and here.

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