DVD Review: “Lost Boys: The Tribe”

There’s a 500-600% increase in topless ladies in this film over the first “Lost Boys” count of zero. In the credits, one poor actress is actually billed as “topless woman”.

There’s a scene where the vampires are playing Gears of War. If they have an Xbox- does this mean they have Xbox live? Do they have internet down in their misty dank cavern hideout?
Quoting The Big Lebowski won’t help you, shitty vampire movie.
This movie visually looks pretty good. I like the saturated colors and sort of sepia vibe in the daylight scenes.
Fucking ridiculous: that scene with the skateboards and the cops and the motorcycles and the vampires and the vampire swinging on the rope in the air with a skateboard still on his feet. The only thing that could have made that scene more goddamn crazy is if the original Dracula had roller skated by in a cape.
Corey Feldman, you used to be such a sarcastic badass. Wait, or is it Corey Haim? Ya’ll used to be my heroes when I was a kid. But then so was Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap.
I like how they broke out Kiefer Sutherland’s little brother to play the head vampire this time around. That’s like if you need Einstein to give a lecture on physics but his train is late so you get his brother to do it.
List of things that were in the first movie that are not here:
Awesome soundtrack of creepy songs. (Yeah, Echo & the Bunnymen!)
Corey Haim’s pink shirt that said “Born To Shop”.
Maggots, Michael.
Old man in a jeep with a wooden stake mounted to the front.
Surprise head vampire dating your mom.
Rating: Six Topless Ladies