It’s really hard to watch Prince’s “Batdance” video online. Why? Because Prince hates the Internet. No, seriously, he hates it. Even more than he hates writing “You” instead of “U.” A few years ago he even proclaimed, “The Internet’s completely over.” And whenever Prince is not busy recording underwhelming albums, he scours said Internet to find unauthorized postings of his music, videos and images, then sics his legal team on the offending parties. He’s even gone after fan sites. Not Bronson Pinchot fan sites, mind you, but PRINCE fan sites! And it’s not just images of himself he wants removed, he also demands that photos taken by fans of their Prince-inspired tattoos be taken down.
Full disclosure: I have the Prince symbol tattooed on my leg. I got it more than 20 years ago when, you know, Prince actually made music worth illegally posting to the Internet. (Prince, if you or your legal team is reading this, feel free to send me a cease and desist letter, along with some money so I can have the tattoo removed to make room for a Bronson Pinchot tattoo.)
Sure, Bronson Pinchot may not possess an otherworldly falsetto, be an amazing guitar player or have the ability to dance in high-heeled boots – unless there’s something he hasn’t told us – but at least he appreciates his fans. If he didn’t, do you he think he would allow this amazing Perfect Strangers game to exist? And he can act, which is more than I can say for Prince. (Although I’m still a sucker for “Purple Rain.”)
What I’d really love to see is a reality series called Prince and Pinchot, in which the latter teaches the former how to appreciate his life and the adulation that comes with it. I can even see the opening credits; the two of them riding a purple tandem bike through Paisley Park, Prince on the back, laughing and remembering what it feels like to be a kid.
Cut to a music studio where Prince is teaching Pinchot how to play the guitar. Cut to a fan’s living room where Prince is having his picture taken for their fan site. Cut to me, sitting at home watching “Batdance” on YouTube. We’re talking revolutionary television! It would be much better than those Real Housewives shows. At the very least, Prince looks better in heels than most of those women.
So, what do you say Hollywood? Let’s go crazy. Let’s get nuts. Let’s make “Prince and Pinchot” a reality. U know u want 2.