Inception

A man named Cobb who steals ideas from inside of dreams takes a job where he has to plant an idea instead. So he hires a crew and builds a three layer dream so he can trick a businessman. But his dream wife shows up and keeps interfering with everything. Not the woman of his dreams, an actual dream manifestation of the woman he was married to.

A woman I dated years ago shows up periodically in my dreams, sometimes. Once, I called out her name while I was sleeping in bed next to another girl I was dating. That didn’t go over well. Fortunately, that kind of thing hasn’t happened with my current girlfriend. Maybe I should yell out the names of every girl I ever dated before I go to sleep to be safe. But let’s be honest, I’d be up for hours doing that. Have to pull out one of those parchment scroll lists like Santa carries.

Speaking of lists, Inception just joined Children of Men and Mass Effect 2 on the list of movies and games I consider science fiction masterpieces. Aka the world’s most effective aphrodisiac. If future generations don’t consider Inception a work of art, then all the idiots of the world must have been the ones to have children and all the smart people must have died or gone off on a rocket to a smart person planet, because Inception is one of the best movies I have ever seen, even considering the porno genre. I guess a porno of Inception would have to be called “Insertion”. And the tagline would be “An idea isn’t the only thing he’ll put inside you.” Don’t steal my porn movie spoof idea, pornographers!

Some goofus with spiky hair sat in front of me when I went to see this in the theater and his hair was so spiky that the spikes actually came up into the lower part of the screen and this movie was so amazing that I didn’t give a shit. I did occasionally entertain the notion of reaching forward to smooth down his hair with my hand, but I think he would have mistaken that as a gesture of tenderness and turned around and punched me in the face before I could say I was just trying to fix his hair. Has that ever prevented a fight? “I’m just trying to fix your hair!”

Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s fight scene floating around in that hallway was incredible. I was leaning forward in my seat with anxiety. I might have held my hand to my face in astonishment. Now I want every fight I ever see to be in zero gravity. Where is my Zero-G fighting arena?! Makes me want to steal a space shuttle and start a fight club in it. Oh yeah and Leonardo DiCaprio’s chase scene in Mombasa where the guy gets hit in the face by a van. Holy shit, right? Me and my friend both went “Ooh!” at the same time.

Spoiler Alert

Just wondering, when Cobb’s team was being attacked by the manifestations of Cillian Murphy’s subconscious, why didn’t they dream up better weapons to fight with? They were already found out, so why not go full on Harry Potter and make lightning shoot out of their hands? Brrrzzapp Pew Pew! Guess that’s why Christopher Nolan isn’t blowing up my phone asking for screenwriting help.

When Leonardo DiCaprio spins the top in the final scene of the movie and it wobbled and cut to black everyone in the theater audibly gasped. Like a fancy woman at the opera who just heard overheard a joke about a lady’s bustier.

Next Article

Chloe