inFAMOUS – Second Son: Usually I Wish For Naked Women, Not On Them

inFAMOUS – Second Son: Usually I Wish For Naked Women, Not On Them

Looks like the hero in inFAMOUS: Second Son is a graffiti artist in addition to having superpowers. I never got into graffiti, but one of my friends used to tag “JungleKid” all over Atlanta back in 2000.

I still look for his JungleKid tags sometimes, now that I live in Atlanta. I’ve never been able to find one. Maybe I should start putting up my own tags. I always thought the black and white cartoons of naked women from the Playboy “party jokes” page would make good stencil graffiti. They’re very stark and minimalist.

Those tiny cartoon women are called “Femlins,” which is a cross between the words “female” and “gremlin”. Because if there’s one thing women love, it’s being compared to gremlins. They really knew how to make a lady feel special back then.

On the other hand, I’m sure the residents of Kingston Falls would have rather had their town overrun by these types of gremlins as opposed to a bunch of reptilian monsters. According to Wikipedia, Femlins are portrayed as

mischievous black and white female sprites, apparently ten to twelve inches tall, wearing only opera gloves, stockings and high heel shoes. They are usually drawn in two or three panel vignettes, interacting with various life-sized items such as shoes, jewelry, neckties and such.

I wonder if Hugh Hefner makes wishes on them. Is that how the Playboy media empire got started, by wishing on Femlins? Maybe that’s why Gargamel is always trying to capture the Smurfs, so he can wish his way to his own porn business. Just do a Kickstarter, man!

This honestly might not be the best time to get into the porn industry, though. The Internet is making Playboys (and the Femlins inside them) obsolete. One minute, you’re twelve and looking at an illustration of a naked lady treating a golf tee like a stripper pole, the next you’re thirty-five and looking at a blank wall you swore used to have JungleKid stenciled on it.

Gather ye life-sized martini glasses while ye may, Femlins. No wish is guaranteed to be granted forever, and every wall on which you paint your name is always looking for a way to get back to being blank again.

If I do start putting up Femlin stencils, I’ll probably give them some clothes, though. Or at least stethoscopes. If they’re going from the Playboy Mansion to the streets of Atlanta, there might as well be a doctor in the bunch. Or a Supreme Court Justice. They’ve been posing sexily with Father’s Day Gifts for far too long. It’s not 1963 anymore. It’s time to hit the books, Femlins!

On consoles Q1 2014.

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