Sam Rockwell plays Sam Bell, a contract worker for Lunar Industries living on the moon. He regulates and maintains the Sarang lunar base, which collects and harvests the energy source helium-3 from moon rocks. His only companion is GERTY— an artificial intelligence housed in what looks like a dentist’s x-ray machine with a claw hand.

The rest of this review is full of spoilers.

Moon is about how he sorts and tags the helium-3, maintains the excavation equipment and keeps the base clean and operational on a day to day basis. At the end of the film, he climbs aboard the return vessel to Earth, after filing his final helium-3 excavation report. Job well done!

Just kidding. Moon is about how Sam Bell loses his shit inside the white, sterile Sarang lunar base while GERTY tries to provide gentle assistance via Kevin Spacey’s voice; like if Kevin Spacey managed the Apple store where you tried to get an out-of-warranty iPhone repaired.

As it so happens Sam is the fifth clone in a long line of clones that Lunar Industries murders at the end of a three year “contract”. The clones think they have a beautiful wife and daughter to go home to at the end of their loyal service to the company, but all they get is a face full of poison gas in a fake-out “hibernation pod”.

Sam 5 crashes his moon rover car into a big moon rock thresher and as a result GERTY wakes up Sam 6. Sams 5 & 6 argue for a while about who’s a clone but then they both find out there’s a freezer full of Sam clones under the base.

Imagine what you could do with a small army of Sam Rockwells!

I’m actually having trouble thinking of a useful application for an army of Sam Rockwells. Maybe a band called The Rock-wells? Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to rock well with The Rock-wells! I guess the audience would be all Sam Rockwells up there on the moon, though. Rockwells and Rockwells, get ready to rock well with The Rock-wells!

Only a matter of time before you’d open up the air compression chamber and find some kind of weird Sam Rockwell orgy happening. Hey you Sam Rockwells keep it in your pants!

Lunar Industries sends a “rescue team” full of mercenaries who are clearly full of murderous clone killing intentions. You know what tipped me off that these guys are not a rescue team? When their profiles showed up on the screen they looked like filthy biker criminals, not helpful astronauts.

I liked the logo for Lunar Industries so much I tried to find it on the internet so I could have a Lunar Industries T-shirt but all I could find was two would-be graphic designers arguing on a forum about who did a better job recreating it in crappy jpegs.

The soundtrack for Moon sounds like a cat walking around on a piano, in a good way.

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