My Effortless Brilliance

Spoilers below.

My Effortless Brilliance is about a fussy little man (Eric) and his adventure in the country trying to mend an old friendship. Eric’s “effortless brilliance” is his super ability to radiate gamma rays with little to no exertion on his part, submerging evil-doers in the blinding light of justice.

Just kidding—the title just refers to the fact that he’s a talented self-absorbed writer. I think.

Eric calls his friend Dylan and says “Hey why don’t you drive your ass over here and bring me some Indian food” (in so many words). Apparently he pulls this kind of shit all the time because Dylan brings him the food but then says “You’re a terrible friend”, leaving Eric literally holding the bag.

BAM TWO YEARS LATER

Dylan lives in the country now. A hot book groupie  flirts with Eric, but you never find out if he gets any sexy literate action. Eric wears a scarf and is still persnickety. He must realize how much he sucks, because he hauls his curly headed butt out to the middle of nowhere for a surprise visit to Dylan’s quaint little cabin.

Dylan has a weird intense friend now. Like the kind of wild eyed guy that just make you uneasy. My friend Mike says if you can see the whites above a person’s pupil all the time they can’t be trusted. This guy doesn’t really have that going on with his eyes, but he should. He rides around on a horse looking to shoot a cougar.

Dylan and his uptight country friend are standoffish to Eric until they get drunk. A story is told about Liv Tyler’s ass. Everybody goes out in the middle of the night to hunt that cougar.

I totally understand why Dylan wanted to get Eric out of his life- I’m kind of a pain in the ass to my friends, too. I’m also fastidious and it’s like pulling teeth getting me to drive. I don’t have any scarves though.

THE END

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