Review, Logos/Illustration: Off Brand Cereals

off brand cereals

These three off brand cereals were for sale at a pharmacy. I guess, if you really have to have cereal, and can’t wait to get to the inevitable grocery store that chances are is really close to the pharmacy, I mean you’ve got to have cereal right now, no milk, no bowl, just give me the goddamn cereal, then maybe you might find yourself staring down the barrel of these very cheap and shameless cereals.
First off, Cruncheeos- They should include little copyright symbols and lawyer’s briefcases made of grain. Why don’t they just call the CEO of General MIlls and be like, “I’m stealing your shit, man!” Why bother hiding the name? Why not just go ahead and call it Cheerios? I bet there isn’t even cereal in that box. Just an I.O.U. “I owe you one thousand little circles of wheat.”
Secondly, the bird on the box for Fruitti Rings. He’s excited, but not in the way you might think. He’s excited because that no doubt terrible cereal is magically leaving the bowl. See the migrating line of fruity O’s headed northward? That bird looks like he just got his deadbeat cousin off his couch.
Thirdly, the Choco Puffs bear with Hitler’s haircut. He likes to eat Choco Puffs one at a time. From the looks of the snowy mountains in the back, he lives in Colorado, where giant bowls of chocolate cereal occur naturally in the wild.

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