Review, Restaurant: Krystal

Krystal is a southern chain of restaurants that serve tiny little hamburgers. You can add bacon if you want, but most of the time these miniature square hamburgers are eaten with a pickle and some onions.
On the way to Krystal today, I passed a crazy old woman yelling into a stroller. As I passed her, I thought to myself, “Please be full of cans, please let that lady be yelling into a stroller she was pushing around full of cans. Or better yet, a dog dressed up like a person.” No such luck, an actual toddler was in there, and to his credit, he looked no worse for wear from being shouted at. Then I almost rear-ended a Yukon.
Commercials for Krystal often feature girls of a particular type. White T Shirted denim shorted girls; you might spot one as you walk past the salon in the mall, antiseptic hair gel scent and baby powder faintly in the air.
Sleek purple car driving girls, with the CD visor tucked over the driver’s side mirror, a decal of a frog holding up a peace sign in the corner of the rear view mirror. Blonde tawny skinned southern girls, best friends, sunbathing on a rock as you swim past in a river, her boyfriend scowls at you in the water, keep moving, and you wonder how he even got his truck down there to that part of the river.
And you get out of the water, the river sand won’t come out of your flip flops, and you walk up the grassy hill to your car, and your sweat smells like suntan lotion, and you have nearly forgotten those girls; the reflection of the sun on river water is still swimming behind your eyes, so you blink a moment behind the steering wheel and then you see that a frog on the back of a nearby car is holding up a peace sign.