The mistake here is to give Sonic the Hedgehog a voice at all. On the Sega Genesis, many years ago, Sonic the Hedgehog jumped on metal pods and saved little animals. He ran in circles and through loops and over everything. He was fast, and wasn’t that enough for the alpha and omega of Sonic the Hedgehog?
In high school, I knew a kid who wore a cape to school. He was freckled, baby faced, short. The cape was reversible, as I recall. This was over ten years ago. He walked around high school like someone might actually challenge him to fight with a sword, or maybe a wizard was going to fling a spell in his face.
Years later, I saw him, working in Wal-Mart. They had taken his cape, that red and black reversible cape. He seemed even shorter.
Sometimes this world takes the simple perfect things away from us.
And so it seems my haberdashed acquaintance from high school is no longer allowed to be simply, an incredible dork, unashamed, and the swift blue hedgehog I remember from middle school is now a sassy mid-40’s white guy trying to sound cool, if the voice work on this game is any indication.
The lesson to be learned here, I think, is do not take the fundamental things away from us, and if those fundamentals are intact, do not add to them, especially do not add some shitty half-penny rock song repeating on every single board and in between missions, especially in a game that’s supposed to be based on the Arabian Nights fables.