The Hangover Part III: The Mullet Is The Only Fish With A Gizzard And Is Said To Possess Mystical Properties

The Hangover Part III: The Mullet Is The Only Fish With A Gizzard And Is Said To Possess Mystical Properties

In real life part three of a hangover is usually getting drunk again, but sometimes it also means you end up shirtless in a cemetery drinking Tab, which is what happens in the trailer for The Hangover Part III.

Or maybe it means your friends drive you to rehab, or to Alabama! Past casino billboards, a vintage store called This’ll Do, and a spear-hunting museum! Going to the Florida/Alabama border is kind of an action movie, if the action you’re looking for is waiting for your friend to pick you up in her grandparents’ minivan after you woke up two miles away from your condo in the bed of a 24-year-old who you only slept with because he wrote his thesis on Faulkner. [Ed note: Meanwhile, guys who write their thesis on Tom Clancy can’t even get a peck on the lips!]

And what is throwing a fish across state lines if not action? Once a year the Flora-bama Lounge—the crown jewel of the Flora-Bama Lounge, Package, and Oyster Bar Empire—is the steward of the Interstate Mullet Toss, an excuse to throw a fish across state lines. [Ed note: Seems like the only way to top an interstate mullet toss is to get the mullet in international waters. Then it can commit any crime it wants! Do fish have the same system of law as humans? I guess the whole ocean is their jurisdiction. Which means land is international waters for fish.]

According to the Flora-Bama Lounge website, the mullet “is the only fish with a gizzard and is said to possess mystical properties.” Sadly, it cannot be said to possess Mystikal properties. [Ed note: Due the to mullet’s adamant refusal to shake its ass, or show anyone what its working with.]

“When they are not drunk anymore, they pay their consquences(sic),” says the Hangover’s wiki, all Engrish-like. The beach near the Mullet Toss reeks of this arc. A sunburned man waylaid by Miller High Life and his own mortality lays prone on the sand. “Fuck Alabama!” he yells to no one in particular. “______,” Alabama yells back.

In theaters May 24.