Up in the Air

George Clooney you old goat!

Clooney handsomes his way across America firing people left and right. Here’s a tip, struggling companies: maybe the reason you have to lay people off is because you hire ladykillers like Clooney to fly in an airplane from another state to do a basic company function. While you’re at it why don’t you buy Jude Law a train ticket to come clean the microwave in the break room?

Clooney’s character Ryan Bingham meets Alex, a traveling business lady just like him. They have sex on a pile of airline miles and make the room service guy watch.

Well they might as well have.

Bingham’s biggest fantasy is to get ten million airline miles so he gets to meet the King of Pilots. When it finally happens the King of Pilots leans in to Bingham and whispers:

hey come closer.
No closer.
Closer than that, I have a secret.
Ok I’ll tell you.
I’ve got pilot’s dick.

Well he might as well have said that.

Look for the sequel when Clooney’s character gets tired of firing people and goes to beauty school in ‘Up in your Hair’. The trilogy wraps up with a tale of Clooney’s trip to the second floor in ‘Up on the Stairs’.

Bingham also mentors Natalie, a stuffy young lady who wants to switch his company to firing people over the computer. Like a sexy robot-factory union organizer, no computer is taking his job so he takes her around the country to show her it’s better to ruin someone’s life in person.

The last time I was on an airplane my ears got stuffed up and wouldn’t pop even after I landed in New York, ate Mexican food and got drunk. I couldn’t keep my hand off my ear and I walked around cupping my ear going “aaahhhh…ahhhhh….it won’t pop!”

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Interview with Paul F Tompkins