Winter’s Bone

Dogs everywhere heard the title of this movie and started wagging their tails. Sorry, cinema enjoying dogs. There are no dog bones in Winter’s Bone. There is a dog named Peanut Butter, though. So I guess you could still screen it at your dog movie night after you get done playing poker and posing for paintings of dogs playing poker.

So Ree Dolly is a 17 year old girl trying to find her father because the bail bondsman is going to take her family’s land unless she finds him, but nobody will tell her where he is. She thinks he’s been killed and all the meth-making yokels in her family are in on it. She keeps asking them if blood don’t mean nothing, but she finds out that it don’t. Now she knows how Dracula feels. Wait, never mind. Blood means everything to Dracula.

Ree goes around to different hillbillies’ houses on the hunt for her father’s whereabouts with her scary uncle Teardrop, played by John Hawkes. Hawkes is like an older, more badass version of DJ Qualls. Maybe John Hawkes is DJ Qualls from twenty years in the future, grizzled with experience and wisdom. Like if a seventy year old Batman came out of a time portal with a big scar on his face and he’s missing two fingers. Oh, what happened with the Joker, future Batman? “I don’t want to talk about it,” growls Batman, “Now help me get this message to Superman in Metropolis so I can get back to the year 2052.”

Before you can say Rilo Kiley alt-country O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack, Ree is all up in some country-ass living rooms watching people play the fiddle and getting nowhere with her search. Also, she makes a nuisance of herself to her crime lord grandfather who looks like Charlie Daniels. Guess that’s what all the fiddle playing was all about. Probably some kind of fiddle contest with the devil for some souls. If I was the devil I’d have a fiddle contest for more fiddles. Then flip those fiddles at an auction or something. Guess I’d make a terrible devil.

Oh yeah and Garret Dillahunt plays the sheriff. I liked him as John Henry in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Too bad it’s canceled and now Summer Glau is out on the street. She’s probably out begging for nickels wearing nothing but a barrel. You know, when I imagine a down on his luck drifter wearing a barrel I think “impoverished hobo”, but when I picture  Summer Glau in the same outfit I think “Donkey Kong/Firefly fan fiction”. Anyway, Sarah Connor Chronicles– you will be missed, for your robots and your references to L. Frank Baum’s Oz books.

Right- this is a review of Winter’s Bone. This is one of the best movies I saw all year. Rent it or OnDemand it, do whatever you got to do to watch this movie.

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The Killer Inside Me