Tag Archives: Adam Sandler

Grown Ups 2: If You See Rob Schneider Lapping Water From A Forest Stream, Hold Perfectly Still Or He Will Bound Away Into The Woods

Grown Ups 2: If You See Rob Schneider Lapping Water From A Forest Stream, Hold Perfectly Still Or He Will Bound Away Into The Woods

“You can’t go home again,” as Thomas Wolfe once titled a novel. Which isn’t strictly true. Going home means returning to a place where everyone sees you exactly as you were when you lived there. So what if you’ve grown into a handsome, successful titan of industry? At home, you’ll always be “Lil Kev,” and will never live down that one time you saw a basketball hoop in a swimming pool, yelled, “I just gotta make this hoop shot!” and proceeded to get thoroughly soaked all the way through your snazzy Members Only jacket.

Battleship

Battleship

In which Jason and comedy writer Ben Arnold have a profanity-laced discussion about the trailer for the movie Battleship.

J: I always knew that mankind would be crushed by enormous balls of steel, but I always assumed they’d be metaphorical, and attached to Hollywood’s elder statesman, Clint Eastwood. So I guess Liam Neeson and Rihanna are trapped behind a force field of ocean water in naval uniforms? I imagine this is the kind of thing that happens to people who get trapped in Kanye West’s saltwater pool. Is it just me, or do the aliens in Battleship look like they’re wearing Daft Punk helmets?