Tag Archives: Atlanta Braves

To Coach A Mockingbird

To Coach A Mockingbird

BOBBIN

In summer 2013, Atlanta home values skyrocketed, increasing by 17% on average. My landlord decided to put her house on the market and kick my husband and me out despite our flawless rental history. I arrived home one evening to find all the shades open, my favorite coffee mug broken, and my vibrator lying in the middle of the bedroom floor. Apparently a professional photographer had trudged through the house taking pictures for the online listing. Did the wayward dildo make the bedroom look more peaceful? I don’t understand the artist’s logic.

I Would Love A Painting Of My Butt Playing Golf: A Review Of The Trailer For Grand Theft Auto V – Franklin

I Would Love A Painting Of My Butt Playing Golf: A Review Of The Trailer For Grand Theft Auto V – Franklin

In which Jason and Patrick Best review the trailer for Grand Theft Auto V: Franklin.

JASON

Hey, Patrick.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m some kind of digital booty snob, but the strippers’ butts in this Grand Theft Auto V trailer don’t seem to be much of an improvement over the ones in Grand Theft Auto IV. Kind of feels like they just went with the butt renderings they already had instead of updating the algorithms (assgorithms?).

These butts need to get with the times! If Michelangelo had sculpted David with an ass like the ones in GTA V, he’d have been laughed out of the Sistine Chapel. Did Rockstar Games work on their butt design at all in the last five years? If I’d been drawing butts every day for the last five years, you better believe I’d be running around right now showing everybody the best drawing of a butt they’ve ever seen.

Brave

Brave

In which Jason and Myke Johns of Mice in Cars and Write Club Atlanta discuss the trailer for Brave.

J: My friend left his Atlanta Braves hat in my messenger bag over the weekend. They say when you take another man’s hat, you steal his power. Who says this? Hatters, mostly. Or people who keep important documents in their hats. If you keep your birth certificate and social security card in your hat, and someone steals that hat off your head, like a grifter on a fire escape, or a more experienced grifter’s monkey (who belongs to a grifter who’s sick of waiting around on fire escapes until someone with a hat full of valuable paperwork walks by), then that is a classic case of hat-power theft.