Tag Archives: Billy Bob Thornton

Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3

In which Jason and Melysa Martinez review the trailer for Iron Man 3.

JASON

When I was a kid in the 80’s, all I wanted was to be half-boy, half-robot. I even asked my mom to schedule a doctor’s appointment so I could get half my body replaced with robot parts. I guess I assumed the doctor was going to be like, “Whatever you say, kid—you’re the boss!” and chop my arm off with a meat cleaver, probably with a crumpled cigarette dangling out of his mouth. “We got a whole shipment of kid-sized robot arms in the back. Want me to replace your brain with the parts from your Commodore 64 while I’m at it? 64 kilobytes of RAM! How about a floppy disk drive for a butt?”

Love Colleen and Becky: A Story Of Zippo Lighters And Robotic Male Prostitutes

Love Colleen and Becky: A Story Of Zippo Lighters And Robotic Male Prostitutes

This essay was originally written for and performed at the “True Story!” Reading Series in Atlanta. 

This is a Zippo lighter I received as a gift in 1997. It says “Love Colleen and Becky” on it. I’ve always been bothered by the lack of a comma. The intended message is, “Love, Colleen and Becky.” Like, “Hey, we love you. We got you this gift. You can light your cigarettes with it. Or commit arson. Hope you burn all the buildings you hate to the ground. Love, Colleen and Becky.'”