In any given group social gathering, a conversational lull is bound to occur. Someone in the group pulls a new topic out of his/her butt and steers the conversation in a totally different direction. I feel like I always end up being that person. Lately I’ve gotten in the habit of reinvigorating dying conversations by using the same old segue: showing everyone in the group a picture of my husband Ryan’s taint. By showing everyone in the group a picture of my husband Ryan’s taint, I help establish that we’re on the same page and share common goals and dreams. That’s what Ryan’s taint does to people. It’s the glue. It’s the tie that binds. It’s like Xanax.