Tag Archives: butts

I Would Love A Painting Of My Butt Playing Golf: A Review Of The Trailer For Grand Theft Auto V – Franklin

I Would Love A Painting Of My Butt Playing Golf: A Review Of The Trailer For Grand Theft Auto V – Franklin

In which Jason and Patrick Best review the trailer for Grand Theft Auto V: Franklin.

JASON

Hey, Patrick.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m some kind of digital booty snob, but the strippers’ butts in this Grand Theft Auto V trailer don’t seem to be much of an improvement over the ones in Grand Theft Auto IV. Kind of feels like they just went with the butt renderings they already had instead of updating the algorithms (assgorithms?).

These butts need to get with the times! If Michelangelo had sculpted David with an ass like the ones in GTA V, he’d have been laughed out of the Sistine Chapel. Did Rockstar Games work on their butt design at all in the last five years? If I’d been drawing butts every day for the last five years, you better believe I’d be running around right now showing everybody the best drawing of a butt they’ve ever seen.

Elysium: Say What You Will About George Jefferson, But You Didn’t Need A Mech Suit Just To Get Into His Apartment

Elysium: Say What You Will About George Jefferson, But You Didn’t Need A Mech Suit Just To Get Into His Apartment

It’s the year 2154, fish aren’t frying in the kitchen, and beans aren’t burning on the grill. Because the Earth is ruined. Looks like the super wealthy are finally getting a piece of the pie, though. They’ve moved on up, to the Elysium side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky, leaving the rest of humanity to rot.  See you later, poor people! Don’t let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya. Come to think of it, who put the Good Lord in charge of splitting butts?

Man of Steel: Sometimes I Call My Dog Sweet Pea, But She’s Not On Superman’s Level Either

Man of Steel: Sometimes I Call My Dog Sweet Pea, But She’s Not On Superman’s Level Either

Why do people who abandon babies on doorsteps always leave them in such nice baskets? You’re already abandoning a baby, why go to the trouble of getting a nice wicker basket? Just put the baby in the Bed Bath & Beyond bag the basket came in! Now you’re baby-free and you’ve got a great basket.