Tag Archives: Game of Thrones

Castlevania – Lords of Shadow 2: The Only Thing That Sucks Harder Than Dracula At Dollywood Is Joyful Noise

Castlevania – Lords of Shadow 2: The Only Thing That Sucks Harder Than Dracula At Dollywood Is Joyful Noise

Dracula sure knows how to swing a whip, doesn’t he? I used to have a whip I played with as a kid. Probably around the time the first Castlevania game came out. My grandparents bought the whip for me at a Cherokee Indian Reservation close to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We were headed to the Smoky Mountains, but I wanted to go to Dollywood.

This Is The End: Meanwhile, The George R. R. Martin Of Strippers Is Completely Unprepared For Armageddon

This Is The End: Meanwhile, The George R. R. Martin Of Strippers Is Completely Unprepared For Armageddon

Last weekend, my friend from New York came down to visit Atlanta, and she was all about shooting guns. “I don’t care what else we do, but we have to shoot guns. In a field. Outside. I want to do something I can’t do in New York.” When I said maybe we could go to a museum in addition to shooting guns, she said, “New York has a museum on every corner. Fuck museums!”

Grown Ups 2: If You See Rob Schneider Lapping Water From A Forest Stream, Hold Perfectly Still Or He Will Bound Away Into The Woods

Grown Ups 2: If You See Rob Schneider Lapping Water From A Forest Stream, Hold Perfectly Still Or He Will Bound Away Into The Woods

“You can’t go home again,” as Thomas Wolfe once titled a novel. Which isn’t strictly true. Going home means returning to a place where everyone sees you exactly as you were when you lived there. So what if you’ve grown into a handsome, successful titan of industry? At home, you’ll always be “Lil Kev,” and will never live down that one time you saw a basketball hoop in a swimming pool, yelled, “I just gotta make this hoop shot!” and proceeded to get thoroughly soaked all the way through your snazzy Members Only jacket.

Rocky And The Girl Who Looked Like Huckleberry Finn: What I Think Of When I Think Of Madness

Rocky And The Girl Who Looked Like Huckleberry Finn: What I Think Of When I Think Of Madness

This essay was originally written and performed for Write Club Atlanta, a monthly competitive writing event.

When I think of madness, I think of a girl I once dated who looked like Huckleberry Finn. Right off the bat, let me clarify that I wasn’t thinking, “She looks like she’d subvert the racial intolerance of a bygone era with the power of friendship. I gotta’ put my dick in that!” By which I mean, put my dick in the power of friendship, not in racial intolerance. Nobody wants to fuck a racist. And it wasn’t some kind of Mark Twain sex thing. Though I did want to put my Connecticut Yankee in her King Arthur’s court. She just had this kind of freckly androgynous thing going on.

Game of Thrones Season 2

Game of Thrones Season 2

In which Jason is joined by Atlanta writer Chris Hassiotis for a review of the trailer for Season 2 of Game of Thrones.

J: According to Wikipedia, Mark Twain was born during a visit by Halley’s Comet, and predicted that he would “go out with it” as well. Slow down, Mark Twain. You can’t just tell a comet what to do.

11/23 in Review—The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Wampugs and Game of Thrones

11/23 in Review—The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Wampugs and Game of Thrones

Some gamers have observed that the horse in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is able to climb impossibly steep mountains and defy gravity by walking up completely vertical surfaces. To be fair, the last time a horse had its legs up in the air at such an extreme angle, Seabiscuit got a response to his H4HH personal ad on Craigslist.

I myself observed the main character of Skyrim drinking a potion he found next to a rotting corpse in an ancient tomb, making the redneck boy that lived in a filthy trailer down the street from me with a closet full of Hustler magazines and a kitchen so filthy I was forbidden to eat or drink anything from his house look like a sommelier at Le Bernardin in New York City. Developers have already planned a contemporary sequel to Skyrim in which the hero drinks a Capri Sun he finds under the body at an open casket funeral.

The SyFy Channel has announced that they’re renewing Being Human for a second season, the main characters of the show being a ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf. Coincidentally, this is the same list of sexual partners that Franken Berry is legally obligated to notify that they’ve been exposed to herpes.

PICTURED: The hero of Skyrim discovers a gross potion. Or possibly Franken Berry’s penis.

Fans of full frontal nudity and dragons will be pleased to learn that Game of Thrones has released a teaser trailer for Season 2. However, fans of full frontal dragon nudity will have to settle for watching Dame Judy Dench undress from a nearby tree branch with their fingers crossed.

Finally, a pug was dressed in a Wampa costume:

The pug’s arm was later severed by a Labradoodle dressed as Luke Skywalker.

Imperial Trouble Episode 34: Kristina Ackerman of Knuckle Salad

Imperial Trouble Episode 34: Kristina Ackerman of Knuckle Salad

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Knuckle Salad! Sam and Jason are joined by returning guest Kristina Ackerman in a discussion of the smuttiness of True Blood’s fourth season, first impressions of Torchwood: Miracle Day and what makes a true Harry Potter fan. The first two minutes of this episode include a Game of Thrones spoiler.