The Muppets appeared in their first theatrical release in 12 years last week. In related news, a group of ventriloquist dummies are attempting the release of their own major motion picture. Production is scheduled to begin as soon as a deal is reached with craft services to provide enough children’s souls for the dummies to eat.
A 26 pound gummy bear was also unveiled to the public last week. He was discovered with the remains of an 18 pound gummy Timothy Treadwell.
Syfy has ordered a Booster Gold pilot script, based on the comic book featuring a glory-seeking superhero from the future. Upon learning of the existence of Booster Gold, an openly gay Scrooge McDuck expressed a desire to be inside of him.
PICTURED: An openly gay Scrooge McDuck.
Animated comedy thriller ParaNorman is scheduled for an August 2012 release. The trailer, set to Donovan’s “Season of the Witch”, includes zombies, ghosts, and a swarm of insects bursting from a teddy bear’s face. The effect was reportedly created by playing an audio cassette of Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger” in a Teddy Ruxpin doll.
Finally, a Motown cover of Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me” was released:
It was later revealed that making Nickelback listenable was the work of Rumpelstiltskin, who wanted a more difficult challenge than turning straw into gold.