Tag Archives: Jude Law

Anna Karenina

Anna Karenina

In which Julian Modugno and Jayne O’Connor review the Trailer for Anna Karenina.

JAYNE

Hey Julian.

Well, this is just wonderful. Another romantic period piece centered around a love triangle with Keira Knightley and two attractive men that now look incredibly creepy because of their facial hair. This kind of movie plot only really works if it is set in a period piece with stunning cinematography; if it were set in present day, lets say in a boring Atlanta suburb, no one would care.

360

360

In which playwright Topher Payne and  photographer/writer Brandon Barr review the trailer for the movie 360.

TOPHER

You know how people bitch about trailers giving away the plot of the movie? Well, congratulations, filmmakers. I have no idea what the hell this movie is about. There’s like a mail-order bride story, Anthony Hopkins is doing a really lazy version of the plot from Taken, Ben Foster’s playing Chester the Molester, and they’ve spliced in Jude Law’s scenes from Closer, only without Julia Roberts. Okay, I’m actually cool with that last part, but everything else has me flummoxed.

Love Colleen and Becky: A Story Of Zippo Lighters And Robotic Male Prostitutes

Love Colleen and Becky: A Story Of Zippo Lighters And Robotic Male Prostitutes

This essay was originally written for and performed at the “True Story!” Reading Series in Atlanta. 

This is a Zippo lighter I received as a gift in 1997. It says “Love Colleen and Becky” on it. I’ve always been bothered by the lack of a comma. The intended message is, “Love, Colleen and Becky.” Like, “Hey, we love you. We got you this gift. You can light your cigarettes with it. Or commit arson. Hope you burn all the buildings you hate to the ground. Love, Colleen and Becky.'”

Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey Jr plays S. Holmes as a foppish dirty brawling genius and Jude Law is his best friend Watson with a neat little mustache. You better believe some rakish hats get worn while they run around London punching every criminal’s filthy Dickensian face.

Here’s a word of advice to you if you want to commit a crime in Holmes’ London: Don’t bother. He knows you stuffed that unwashed silverware in your filthy waistcoat and he’s willing to wrap a rusty old timey ship’s chain around your knees and knock you down on some cobblestones.

Grime!