Tag Archives: Lynn Collins

Uncertainty

Joseph Gordon-Levitt can’t remember what kind of tea is in his teapot and will go to any length to find out, even murder. Oh wait, that’s “Uncertain Tea”.

Bobby (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and his girlfriend Kate (Lynn Collins) find a phone in a cab. It’s a criminal’s phone! Another criminal is trying to murder them for it. They see a dude get shot. I know how they feel with the phone problems, my unlocked iPhone stopped working with T-mobile’s data plan this weekend.

Hey the willowy love interest from The Wackness (Olivia Thirlby) is in this movie! She’s doing something weird with her eyes, though, whenever she acts excited in a scene. Like her pupils are vibrating?

Yeeeearrrzzzhh. That’s the sound of vibrating eyes. Or a pirate who took a sleeping pill and it just kicked in as he was raising his sword to knock someone off a plank. I bet Steve Jobs would knock my hacked iPhone off a plank with a sword if he could. Maybe he cut my data plan with a magic sword that slices smart-phone Internet plans in half. What a fearsome sword, except it would have been pretty useless in olden times. I initially mistyped that as “Olsen Times”. It was the Golden Age of Mary-Kate and Ashley… (trumpets sound)

Even though they are dressed like they are on their way to an outdoor indie rock show on a lawn, Bobby and Kate have to try and not get murdered instead. Did I mention half this movie is an alternate time-line where they don’t get chased by a shadowy crime lord? I shit you not they go to a family barbecue instead. Like if in The Terminator half the movie showed Sarah Connor eating barbecue chicken in a world where she wasn’t chased by a killer robot from the future.

Speaking of barbecue, what do you think of this idea for a BBQ restaurant logo- a cartoon pig turned slightly to show his butt to the viewer, saying, “Why don’t you take a bite of THIS rump!” I was thinking about logos and branding for BBQ restaurants when I was eating breakfast and I’m pretty sure that’s the one I’d go with.

It’s remarkably similar to a daydream I have about going on a date with Olivia Thirlby and she says, “Why don’t you give me a KISS, chump!”