Tag Archives: Mick Jagger

Labyrinth: David Bowie Will Also Perform A Breast Reduction If You Give Him A Goblin To Turn Back Into A Baby

Labyrinth: David Bowie Will Also Perform A Breast Reduction If You Give Him A Goblin To Turn Back Into A Baby

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she’s approached by David Bowie to take an unchaperoned trip through a dry hell full of weird men and magic. [Ed note: To be fair, David Bowie took Mick Jagger on the same trip.] Supposedly this journey leads you through the conclusion of puberty into adulthood, or whatever. I remember the first time the Androgynous One came to offer me his crystal globes. I snorted milk through my nose and behaved like my generally unbearable self. And that’s the story of why Kat Greene doesn’t have boobs! [Ed note: Is that the trade-off? He gets to turn a baby into a goblin and the girl gets boobs? Shame on you, Jennifer Connelly.]

Along With The Rest Of The Max Rebo Band: The Best Ways To Pretend You’re Holding A Lightsaber

Along With The Rest Of The Max Rebo Band: The Best Ways To Pretend You’re Holding A Lightsaber

Of all the ways to pretend you’re holding a lightsaber, waving a long cardboard tube around and making the VRRUMMM noise is generally considered to be the preferred method. Unless you are an actual Jedi. Then you might want to spend money on the real thing. The lightsaber, not the VRRUMMM noise. Talk about putting the cart before the horse. The cart is the VRRUMMM noise, and the horse is the lightsaber. Is that an apt comparison? Could one consider the lightsaber to be pulling the VRRUMMM noise around? Maybe the VRRUMMM noise is the wheels on the cart, and the cart is the lightsaber and the Jedi is the horse. That’s right, impoverished Jedi. You’re the beast of burden in this analogy!