Tag Archives: Pigs

It Would Be Lazy to Name This “Bringing Home the Bacon,” So I Won’t

pig_farmer_halftone

As an overly sensitive young boy whose natural propensity for interspecies empathy was amplified by a fondness for Disney movies and a long-standing subscription to Ranger Rick magazine, the idea of hunting appalled me. With a kid’s logic, I’d decided that killing animals was unspeakably cruel. Now, please pass the bacon.

Snow White And The Huntsman

Snow White And The Huntsman

In which Jason and Soren Bowie of Cracked.com discuss the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman.

JASON

Hi Soren. Welcome to this review of Snow White and the Huntsman. From the looks of it, the quickest route to being fairest of all is soaking in a bathtub full of milk. Of course, some of us have always known that prolonged milk-on-skin contact will result in excessive fairness, both the physical and moral kind. Which is why progressive courtrooms across the country have installed mandatory milk-soaking tubs to ensure fairness in all jury trials. Whether members of the jury wear shower caps and utilize comically overlong back scrubbers is at the discretion of the presiding judge, who is usually a breastfeeding baby in a powdered wig.