Tag Archives: Potions

11/23 in Review—The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Wampugs and Game of Thrones

11/23 in Review—The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Wampugs and Game of Thrones

Some gamers have observed that the horse in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is able to climb impossibly steep mountains and defy gravity by walking up completely vertical surfaces. To be fair, the last time a horse had its legs up in the air at such an extreme angle, Seabiscuit got a response to his H4HH personal ad on Craigslist.

I myself observed the main character of Skyrim drinking a potion he found next to a rotting corpse in an ancient tomb, making the redneck boy that lived in a filthy trailer down the street from me with a closet full of Hustler magazines and a kitchen so filthy I was forbidden to eat or drink anything from his house look like a sommelier at Le Bernardin in New York City. Developers have already planned a contemporary sequel to Skyrim in which the hero drinks a Capri Sun he finds under the body at an open casket funeral.

The SyFy Channel has announced that they’re renewing Being Human for a second season, the main characters of the show being a ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf. Coincidentally, this is the same list of sexual partners that Franken Berry is legally obligated to notify that they’ve been exposed to herpes.

PICTURED: The hero of Skyrim discovers a gross potion. Or possibly Franken Berry’s penis.

Fans of full frontal nudity and dragons will be pleased to learn that Game of Thrones has released a teaser trailer for Season 2. However, fans of full frontal dragon nudity will have to settle for watching Dame Judy Dench undress from a nearby tree branch with their fingers crossed.

Finally, a pug was dressed in a Wampa costume:

The pug’s arm was later severed by a Labradoodle dressed as Luke Skywalker.