Tag Archives: The Hurt Locker

The Hurt Locker

Imagine my shock when I realized this movie was not about the contents of actor William Hurt’s high school locker. William Hurt is one of the finest audio-book narrators of our time. His reading of Stephen King’s ‘Hearts in Atlantis’ nearly moved me to tears in my office chair. Maybe that’s what Hurt Locker means, when you’ve been so captivated by a William Hurt performance of an audio-book that your very heart becomes locked in place, unable to beat for a moment.

Ranger Sergeant First Class William James loves defusing bombs so much he’d rather be feeling around under a rusty old car for bomb parts than hanging out with his family. How do I know this? He confesses his true feelings to a baby.

Can you blame the man? Babies very rarely require expertise in improvised explosives. Yeah I know. Their diapers. Improvised explosives. I get it!

James reminds me of the soldier in 28 Weeks Later who push starts a car and sacrifices himself in the nerve gas. Wow I’m adding spoilers for other movies now. I’ve might as well start going directly to theaters, stand next to the guy taking tickets and hand out brochures about the end of the movie and who dies.

James takes off his protective bomb suit so much when he’s defusing bombs he might as well just wear cargo shorts and a torn Myrtle Beach shirt out on missions. Or a summery halter top, Daisy Dukes and Old Navy flip flops.

And instead of being a dude he could be a sexy lady. And instead of defusing actual bombs she could defuse Jägerbombs.

Spring Break!