Tag Archives: Thor

Man of Steel: I Hope Superman’s Friends Don’t Know Which Direction To Point At The Fortress Of Solitude

Man of Steel: I Hope Superman’s Friends Don’t Know Which Direction To Point At The Fortress Of Solitude

I’m glad there’s another Man of Steel trailer, because the studios need to drum up some interest in this obscure indie gem about a little-known comic book character. “Man of Steel? Is that a sequel to Steel, the critical darling for which Shaq was awarded the Palme d’Or at Cannes, in recognition of his portrayal of both Iron Man and Thor at the same time, except he could also use his big-ass hammer as a gun?” (Come to think of it, who wouldn’t pay good money to see that? Get cracking, Hollywood! And make sure you spell my name right on the royalty checks, please.)

Thor The Dark World: Angela Lansbury Could Have Solved Twice As Many Murders If She’d Been Drinking Four Loko

Thor The Dark World: Angela Lansbury Could Have Solved Twice As Many Murders If She’d Been Drinking Four Loko

Last week during our vacation, my girlfriend looked over at a woman feeding seagulls on the beach and said, “Look at that bitch feeding the seagulls.” My girlfriend doesn’t normally go around calling women bitches, but this lady was definitely causing a seagull problem vis-à-vis feeding them in a bitchy fashion.

Next thing you know, every begging-ass seagull on Panama City Beach shows up wings a-flappin’ bothering all the sunbathers. Then this old woman walks off smiling like she was doing everybody a favor. Great job, Angela Lansbury. Seagull, She Wrote!